God has blessed us and provides for our needs, but we live very much one day at a time. The “extra” is nonexistent. We have little when it comes to possessions and money.
Sometimes I think that because we have so little, my temptation to hold tightly to what we do have is stronger.
I am going to share some examples of this, and you may laugh at the silliness of it. But that’s just the point. I’m writing this post because I’ve realized my problem. And I’m working on it.
I like our dishes. Maybe a little too much. Unfortunately we have lost quite a few kitchen things like cups, Tupperware containers, spoons, and plates. Mostly because we gave someone a dish of food and the dish was never returned. This bothers me. I want us to keep our very useful kitchen items. Every time we lose one, if I sense anger or annoyance in my spirit, then I know that our dishes have become too important.
You may think, “well you have a right to be angry about that.” Do I, though?
Another example is our chickens. Over the months we’ve had chickens our flock has expanded. My husband got them particularly for me and because of that (and the fact that I enjoy keeping animals) they are special to me. I hate the idea of them being stolen, or the chicks being killed by the neighbor’s cat.
After a stressful chicken situation involving a mean-spirited neighbor, my husband had to remind me not to hold onto the chickens too hard, especially at the expense of peace with others. He could tell even before I could that my attitude needed adjusting.
The last example I will share here is about water bottles. We re-use plastic water bottles so we can have cold water in our fridge. Often neighbors come to ask for cold water, which we share whenever we have it. Sometimes they bring their own containers but other times I have to give them the bottle. I exhort them strongly to bring it back, which does not always happen. Other times people come for a visit and leave the house with a bottle without asking.
One day, I realized I was grasping too tightly to the water bottles when a neighbor sent a child over to ask for water and I wouldn’t give him any because we only had one bottle left. The neighbor had actually called my husband (who was out) beforehand, asking for water. He’d said “sure” but then I’d said no (unaware of the call till later).
The next day, feeling repentant, I took the last bottle over to their house. They remembered to return the bottle.
Recently my 5 month old discovered how fun our outdoor water faucet is. Every time we hold her in front of it, she tries to catch the water in her hands and bring it to her mouth. She thinks it’s something she can hold and keep. She doesn’t seem to get tired of trying. It reminds me of myself and how I try to hold onto things like dishes and chickens and our plastic water bottles.
Grasping at these material objects is like trying to grasp at a running stream of water. It pours out of the faucet, through your hands, and is gone. Enjoy the momentary coolness as it runs over your hands. Feel it refresh you. Drink some. But even if you try, you can’t hold it in your hands for more than a few seconds. It will disappear into the ground.
So I’ll enjoy my dishes till they’re gone and the chickens until they’re gone and I hope that I’ll still be thankful for it all and live with a generous heart.
My job is to be open-handed.
Less selfish, less grasping... More loving, more generous, more giving.
When you feel that you’ve lost something that you deserved, or had a right to, ask yourself if it really was your right, and what do you really deserve?
“For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with these.”
